Put Your Head Down and Plow On

Things are going to be koo-koo crazy for a while 'round these parts. The race to the end of the semester has officially begun. Only three more class sessions, one of which is an exam (next week), one is our project presentation and one...well, I don't know what's in store for us for that extra class. I'm going to be a studying maniac this weekend, studying both my exam notes and the spring class schedule. Remember how I said I was floundering, not knowing what I was doing in school? I still don't know, but when I see the new class schedule with all those possibilities for learning sitting right there in front of me, I get excited. Right now it's down to History of Photography (I need one more art history class for my minor), Women in American Society, Propaganda Art 1925-1945, or Pathologies in Modern China...rad.

In light of the busy-ness, I think we will be moving to an even lighter schedule of posting for a while. It doesn't mean I won't be thinking about y'all, because I will. Enjoy your weekend! I'll be eating muffulettas, studying, and hopefully taking a walk or squeezing in the last 20 rows of my cowl.

Sure to Shine or One-Fifth

Think I will riff on Andrea's list and make an abbreviated version...20 things.

1. snowflakes
2. poetry
3. buttons
4. birds
5. NPR
6. sharp pencils
7. dark clouds
8. sandwiches
9. coffee
10. mary janes
11. firelight
12. glitter
13. Sriracha
14. daisies
15. stripes
16. pie
17. dogs
18. smooth stones
19. books
20. pancakes :)

There. See, I'm not all doom and gloom posts. Thanks so much for all of your nice hugs and comments on the last post. Much appreciated.

(title is a lyric from "Diamond Girl", Seals & Crofts)

Feel Free to Skip This One (The Ramblings of the Discouraged and Sleep Deprived)

So far the measly three hours of sleep I got doesn't seem to be affecting me (much).
My body decided that I would take a little ride with anxiety last night.
Pounding heart. Chills. Eyes wide open. And me telling myself "Enough already. Yeah, yeah. Stress, schmess. Can't we just sleep?"

* * * *

I was reminded last night that I haven't written a research paper in 18 years. We received our rough drafts back from our professor and while it wasn't totally lost in a sea of red editing marks, I was hoping the draft would be returned to me with a glowing review and a note that as soon as I sort out my footnotes I would be done.

It's kind of a synopsis of how I'm feeling about school right now. I'm feeling old and I just want to finish. I am losing sight of the end goal and my drive to get there is fading. I know that I would like to move on to a different career, but I have nothing specific in mind. It feels so distant since I can't do more than a class at a time...ugh. I'll stop complaining. Complaining is just ugly.

* * * *

I think you can guess what my weekend holds in store for me but I'm sure I'll figure out a way to finagle a few more rows on the cowl (officially 1/3 finished). Knitting with this fancy silk yarn is rather pleasant, but it isn't playing nicely with my circular needle. It keeps getting caught on the join, which is truly miserable on the rows where I have to do an extra wrap of yarn. I am trying to knit loosely but the yarn is so smooth, it naturally tightens itself up on the cord portion of the needles. Once the cowl is off the needles, I have a couple of tiny kitties (mew!) to finish and then it's back to the February Lady, which perhaps I should call the April Madame? My self-imposed 'finish by February' deadline seems to be a little out of reach now but you never know...the winter school break approacheth (yay!).

Whew. Sorry for such a gloomy gus of a post. Sometimes I just need to get it out of my system and writing it out really does help.

New Day Dawning

Hopes running high. Teary eyed. Pleased with the good sportsmanship in the speeches. More tears. So proud.

I know, I know...just like a broken record...

You've been hearing it from every quarter but I'm going to tell you too,

Vote, my dear friends.

If you are having trouble finding your polling place (eeep! the big day has arrived! where do I go?!), try this site. I know it's partisan, but it will still tell you where to go. You can also try looking up your county voter's registrar's office online.

And for a good laugh, check this out.

May your chosen candidate win!

Always Keep a Diamond in Your Mind

It was not the weekend I expected. I awoke on Saturday morning with an insanely swollen gland in my throat that was painful to touch. I was tired and achy. Date night was canceled. I walked into the garage to pick up my airy scarf that had been blocking; some beasty had rolled on it and it was a crumpled mess, straight pins all over the floor (I can't believe nothing happened to the Dink in the process). I started to tear up. I threw the scarf. Kidlet came and patted my back. Hubby made a restorative dinner. We drank wine.

While I straightened up the kitchen after dinner, Kidlet and Hubby carved the pumpkin (yes, on November 1st). As I listened to Kidlet and Hubby talk, my heart began to soar. Mentally, I started to list all the things that 'speak to me', that make my heart sing: jazz from before the 1970s, good homemade bread, looking at Latvian patterns, Fellini's films, Moomins, dogs, the outdoors, good sportsmanship (strange, I know), and most of all family, family, family. The actual list I made is much longer than this but I thought I'd share a few snippets. Composing it really filled my cup (and not just with wine, but that's on the list too) and brought me back to the present, feeling ever-so-grateful. I needed to let go of my expectations and enjoy the ride where ever it took me. Always a good lesson to remember, eh? I highly recommend making a list. It will bring you up, I promise.

(title brought to you by the Tom Waits' song "Diamond in Your Mind")

Ghoulish

I will be the rag-tag pirate, Kidlet will be a flower fairy or Glenda of the Wizard of Oz (depending what day you ask...all the same costume, however), Hubby is abstaining. Hoping you receive more treats than tricks today...

***

After the crazy push through all the stress, I'm left wondering, 'what do I do now?' I have a bunch of school stuff coming up, but not much I can do at the moment. Holiday plans are starting to settle in my mind. Guess that means I have to...relax? No, no, no...must scrub the house from top to bottom and then bottom to top. Has anyone else read Little Miss Busy? This is my biography.

I really am going to relax this weekend! Hubby and I have a fancy date at which I will wear my finished Airy Scarf. I will cast on the February Lady again (for what? the third time? fourth?). I will continue work on the cowl I cast on yesterday (in super fancy yarn). I will bake bread. I will ignore the yard work. I will walk in the park and collect leaves. I can't wait. I hope you have a similarly happy time awaiting you.